"Ohh! You see?! The furniture lodged in that truck! Yes! It is for my sister's wedding. Do you doubt its quality? Trust me, it is sturdy and of the best quality in town." The man took so much pride and joy in telling us about the kind of dowry he had collected for his sister's wedding.
The man boasting off his ability to manage to give dowry may have been deep in debt and may also have other grave issues at hand to address, such as, repayment of loan and education of kids in his family. However, there is no shame to be carried rather it is shameful to not being able to arrange dowry. This may make us all wonder, how much in practice is dowry still is?
In Mansa district of Punjab, dowry is a normal reality and an unavoidable truth, which is realized the moment a daughter is born. Taking loans for dowry is an instrumental factor aggravating the economic distress of that region. Moreover, marriages in Punjab are not an easy affair rather the extensiveness and elaborateness of marriages put an additional pressure on families besides dowry. Having been able to pull off a successful marriage would involve, among other things, a revamp of the house in order to leave a good impression on the spouse’s family, around three to four functions and ceremonies in a grand way culminating in the wedding. Consequently, many households of Mansa district have leapt deep into crisis by not being able to repay loans taken to marry off the daughters. So much so, that the bread earner of the house, always a man, take the decision to end their lives in a state when repayment of loans becomes a far-fetched possibility.
The severity of the situation becomes clear when one sees that many of the daughters are educated as well, sometimes till post-graduation, however, it is a rare occurrence to see daughters earning. Most of the times, daughters are denied to fend for themselves considering the job as something that would tarnish the family's social honour. In many households of the villages in Mansa, it is common to find women, jobless even though they have completed their high school. It has also been observed that, the level of education of their daughters is a thing to be boasted off while giving out the proposals for marriage.
Rooted in patriarchy, the dowry distress is also a major reason why daughters are still considered a burden on the family and sociey. In fact a string of neem leaves at the threshold of houses is the most common sight in the villages of Mansa, signifying the birth of a son, yet another tool of patriarchy. The birth of a daughter, whereas is seen as an official signal to start collecting the material for her dowry. In other words, marrying off of daughters is considered a responsibility entailing innumerous hardships, especially when there is high financial instability. The nidar of such a crisis leads to suicides in the families. The inability to consider daughters as equivalent to sons and capable enough to own the family's burden reflects the evils of patriarchy in the society. The value of daughters may be gauged later after marrying them off, given that while considering the extent of care provided to parents by sons and daughters, it was observed that it is normal for sons to abandon their parents, whereas daughters somehow manage to look after their parents, irrespective of the social barriers.
Thus dowry has become a real menace. However, it has been so normalized that it is accepted as an everyday trouble; no matter how much misery it brings upon, it continues to be practiced. Dowry is a crime, this fact is known to everybody, however, the subtlety with which it is carried on removes away the illegal factor involved. The society's psyche has so remarkably adopted dowry that people might have stopped directly asking for dowry, nevertheless, the subtle ways like reconstrution of the house so that more prospectful hence better off families would want to marry their daughter off in that house. This is insidiously done to procure substantial dowry. The degrading notion that daughters are burden on the families shoulder and cannot take the family's honour ahead is the wall that has to be dismantled.
Only stricter laws along better, stringent implementation can solve this state of affairs. The Dowry Prohibition Act was passed as early as 20th May, 1961 with an aim to eradicate the evil practice from the society. Making demands of dowry is punishable by a minimum imprisonment of 5 years and a minimum fine of 15,000 rupees. Despite the existence of such laws, enforcement still remains unaccomplished. The panchayat being an integral body of the village should legally weed out elements of dowry from the society. Moreover, government also needs to strengthen proper investigative procedures to prevent the accused from going free. Further, government agencies should give directives to have awareness workshops in schools and villages, and promote the need for educating the girl children. Finally, India as a country requires major overhaul of its existing mindsets in order to push back against the iniquitous custom of dowry and treat women at par with men to aim for the stars.
By,
Dhruvika Sodhi
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